So, a change of scenery, throwing back my hair, kicking my shoes up, replenishing all engines, is important. Any Mistress that can only “work” when on holiday is not giving herself the time to reflect and acknowledge her true down/relax time. It can have later repercussions such as burnout. Yes, no matter how “lifestyle” we choose to be or are, we like to take time off, it’s a fine balance. I have come back after my hols and oh my!, my rejuvenation is fantastic.
I could have gone pure BDSM about it, there are many places that cater for play enthusiasts but, I didn’t. Surf, sea, scuba, sand, woodland, climbing all good stuff. I think slaves & subs sometimes think that a Mistress will only have a BDSM holiday, spoiler alert; lifestyle Mistresses also have other interests. It gives us substance, experience, can teach skills (climbing and rope work for example).
For those that want to try holidays that are BDSM (they are great fun too), there are many options. SM Airbnb, self catering cottages, cruises, hotels, even package holidays. Here are a few to consider:-
There are many Dominants that have, on occasion, had someone interested in a ‘household position’. Alot of applicants have missed the memo. A household or domestic position and applying for one, is not unlike any other job. The applicant must show they are able to clean, organise, perhaps fix and mend, be sociable, have necessary skills, with reliability and trust, because they reaĺly want the position.
This kind of work should have an innate feeling of respect, wanting to please a Dominant with the best skills, in an understanding environment. There must be a mutual understanding of one’s role, similar to the valet’s, housekeepers, maids and Butlers of yesteryear. There can be perks to this kind of obeyance, but, this should not be an automatic expectation.
Trust is very important, it is not built in a few hours, a day, or other, it takes its own time. The ‘employer’ needs to know if someone in a serving position will fit well and comfortably into her/his life and not make more work for them. There will usually be training involved, this can take up a lot of time. If someone is not right, or omitted important information about themselves, this process can be a massive waste of time.
On application into servitude, the applicant must be respectful, give experience, say why they are trustworthy and why they will be good at particular household work. Tell a Dom/me what skills they have, be ready to answer any questions.
Wrong: comments for a new household position:
I worked for someone licking their toilet.
I used to clean their panties.
I can wash and clean you when you want a bath or shower.
I have always used hot water and a mop on wooden floorboards (without knowledge of different woods).
I think I’m alright at washing dishes.
Use me in your playtime, for anything.
I can only be around Wednesdays from 11am-2pm, every other week, you cannot contact me.
I will do “abc” for your home and “oh, by the way, I like defg”. If you are not into a household position unless there is a caveat, I like to have “abc” done to me…
Just say “I don’t like servitude unless there is playtime attached”. Be honest and you might be pleasantly surprised what comes your way.
An applicant will do well if they treat the situation like applying for any vanilla work. Of course, the questions might be different, along with the work and possible perks, but, the premise is the same, possibly tougher. After all, an applicant is entering somebodies home that could overlap into the employers personal space.
Want to be in servitude.
Have skills that stand out above the rest.
Enjoy making the Dom/me happy.
Dress well, show a potential employer/Dom/me that you take care of yourself.
Be focused on your employer, not yourself during work hours.
Think ahead about the God/dess, Top, Dom/me and their possible future needs.
If you cold call, you have to have a good reason why and an even better way to show you are a worthy applicant.
A Dominant is allowing the “particular” into their homes, and is probably rather busy and may not have time to forever watch over someone who might do a bad job just for attention, or just a bad job. There is a plethora of submissive’s, slaves and the like, who think they will have automatic play time because of good or bad work and, are not honest from the beginning. Enter new servitude with a good heart.
Do you know what kind of position you are looking for in a household? It is good to have some sort of idea. If you are uncertain, experimentation is a wonderful part of fetish and BDSM, so tell a prospective Dom/me about your situation. A Dom/me may want somebody to help for a short time, it is also you that knows what kind of “houehold” placement is right.
As I was Dungeoneer along side Master Kavannagh at the last Rubber Cult, here is my review.
The costumes and latex were fabulous, though only three items of equipment in the small dungeon area. A frame, cross and whipping bench. I still had fun and had a few interested partakers of the cane and flogger. I kept it light,which is not in my nature, though some still enjoyed the unexpected.
Enjoy dressing in latex and love looking good, this is a great club for you! Kudos to Kim and Cynth, who put a lot of time and scene logistics into it and were busy behind the scenes to make it work smoothly.
How long can a trainee take chastity and it’s devices? The denial and ability to for a submissive to touch themselves taken away. A control from the Mistress to allow a sub/slave under orders, to experience an ultimate form of bondage and have their rights to release taken away. Chastity teaches patience and that a submissive or bottom must learn how to correct themselves and bad behavior, otherwise allowed to run riot. It is always an interesting test for a highly sexed sub/slave to have to hold back their basic urges, have them taken away and find out whether they can handle themselves within the set rules of their Domina with obedience. However far the chastity continues is for the Mistress to decide once they feel the lesson has been taught through denial and Bondage.
When chastity is administered, the sub is bound to the Mistress/Top who holds the keys to a small amount of freedom the sub/slave is allowed, and what a great training tool it can be!
There are a lot of training devices around. One of the most familiar is the CB range but the market has now become more and more interesting with many different sophisticated ideas as to how to go about long term chastity.
As I’ve been ‘away’ for a few months, I have to mention The Gate again. A few days ago someone phoned me that enjoyed his experience there so much (I was a participant ;)), he wanted a place to have his birthday. He asked for intimate, somewhere he could really enjoy his personal fetish, with no judgement. Also, a place he could kinda ‘do what he really wanted’, in a nice friendly enviroment with lots of people, but not too many, if you get my jist. I first thought, The Gate Club. I haven’t been able to go along for a while because my new driver had certain things to tend to at the time.
He also asked about Domina Parties. Now, I couldn’t really tell him much and told him so. All I understand from those that have been, is that it is a much smaller affair, but great for those looking to ‘spend’ on an very intimate affair as such. It really depends on what someone is looking for. The Gate is a nice inbetween a club and a smaller affair, without being too much, more people, but then, if you want alot more, it’s very much there too.
I also want to mention the late Mistress Demonic, who helped to make this club what it is. Its always been more than fun, and give it a try! You will never smile sooo much! I always have !
I will be at the next Gate party… mwah ha ha…
Every now and then I like to be on the scene, without ‘being on the scene’. What do I mean? After a long time of ‘being around’, I like to watch what’s going on without getting too involved ‘now and then’. Sure, I’m about, but I think it’s important to do a bit of kinky gliding, I call it. If a Domme is going to stay strong for 20+ years, without getting dragged into ‘people politics’, and like any scene, there will always be that element, it’s fun to sometimes watch from a sideline. ‘Voyeur’ of a different type
Now, I’m diving in again. Mwah ha ha… some new slaves and subs I seem to have acquired, plenty, plenty of play & perving along the way, of course!! Well, I’m a perve! That’s that! Will keep you updated with my next exploits!
It’s been all go! Plenty of kinky naughtiness to get up to. I’ve loved my pressies and birthday wishes from fellow kinksters and of course my lowly slaves, maids and fetishists. No, I didn’t wait for xmas day, I like a good run up of treats before the 25th!
I shall be at AntiChrists New Year party, always something of a kinky tradtion, on the 3rd of Jan, then pop into Season’s torments at The Purple Turtle, 28th Dec, in Camden. They have an open door policy… bloomin marvelous! This is all part of ‘Sweet Torments’ London Munch, now celebrating its 15th year! I think it will turn out to be very busy indeed, and it’s local! Still wondering about going to Toppers on the 29th, that all depends on what pervy play I get up to the night before at Season’s Torments and whether I will have ‘finished’ freeing my victims in time.
One new member of my household is Henry the pug. I’m used to dealing with puppies and doggies of all shapes and sizes. It is still most amusing when telling folk I have a new dog and they respond with hardly batting an eyelid. I then explain this one is not human, it’s actually a dog… only then does the surprise hit. It seems people that know me expect the twisted ‘obvious’, this is what happens in my world of kink!
A marvelous kinky, naughty Xmas to all, and a very pervy New Year!!
I have been busy this Halloween spreading my kinky ‘hell’, it would have been marvellous to go trick or treating, dressed as I usually do (corsets, stockings, some leopard print, heels, feathers, fur, flogger in hand), scaring the neighbours. Big, bad anal fistings for the ‘tricksters’ and ‘treats’ of latex goodies, shoes and medical equipment, that would be my kind of Halloween!
Torture Garden held a full on two nighter! 1st and 2nd Nov at The Coronet, who needs sleep anyway when there’s twisted fun to be had?! Then it was really choices, choices, AntiChrist held a pirates v zombies affair at the Colosseum. Well, the sensible option was TG on the 2nd and AC on the 1st! The best of both worlds, and I’m still standing after it all!
What’s coming up? I have to mention Club Subversions birthday party on the 9th Nov at Protocol SW8 and of course, kinky shopping at London Alternative Market 3rd Nov and The London Fetish Fair 10th Nov! I always need more silky stocings and those marvellous electro-stim devices I must have… oh, and that leather coat.. and…and…