BDSM Beginners

This is a brief introduction to a vast subject, there are great many facets to BDSM. Breaking the letters down, they are interpreted to mean Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. There are further aspects to consider such as fantasy, roleplay and fetish, that all interplay within BDSM.

BDSM involves both psychological and physical control of the body and its senses through erotic interplay. Everybody’s sexuality is different, with many expectations and kinks, so communication before play allows players to gain an understanding of each others intentions, limitations or ‘no go’ areas, this is of vital importance.

Exploring psychosexual desires with an open mind empowers the player to explore and realise their own individual fantasies. An enjoyable, surprising and fulfilling experience, often breaking blinkered and misinformed social taboos.

BDSM in essence is the erotic powerplay between individuals in a safe, sane and consensual way, as a fundamental means of sexual excitement. There are many on going debates as to what is ‘safe’ or ‘sane’ or ‘consensual’ as there are about what constitutes a ‘slave’ or ‘masochist’ within the BDSM community. There are many a wide and varying degree of subjective and objective views because the dynamics between BDSM players can be incredibly complex and often subtle. Safeguards are used to maintain control of limits and consensuality as ‘one persons paradise is another persons purgatory’. Safewords for example, are a very important means to communicate during play.

Submissives often experience a kind of spiritual surrender, the freedom to explore ultimate powerlessness in a safe situation, a trusting undefensive freedom from ego, and this can also be true for masochists. As well as sexual, the Dominant receives psychological satisfaction over the exertion of absolute power, holding the key to the submissives pleasure. ‘Lifestylers’ take this to another level, the sub-Dom/me relationship becomes part of every aspect of their lives on a 24/7 basis, though the idea as a fantasy and the ongoing reality of this kind of relationship is for the most part, very different indeed. Even within ‘vanilla’ relationships there are varying degrees of sexual power play. One person initiates and leads, taking the more dominant role in the bedroom and the other is lead, often not even aware that these dynamics are taking place.

BDSM is not just about punishment as the stereotypical idea often suggests. A submissive may be interested in various different aspects of play. Punishment, when it is part of the sub/domme experience is used to coerce and control. Though some submissives wilfully try to bait the risk of punishment as something they desire,often to the annoyance of the dominant. Punishment is also used to push submissives to accept activities that they truly dread, but also as a means of training, correction and discomfort for the submissive. Correction or punishment does not have to be just physical, but can be solely psychological in nature.

Edgeplay means entering into a grey area where safety, sanity and consensuality are pushed to the players limits without crossing this fine line leading to uncontrolled consequences. It can also include experimenting with areas unknown to one or more of the parties involved, on a quest for a deeper experience, higher endorphine rush, excitement, challenge or fear. Although the element of danger is always present in these situations, they can be the most profound experiences, difficult to surpass until extremes and boundaries are stretched once again.

The sense of community within the fetish scene is strong. From clubs, munches, parties and socials both public and private, the freedom to be open and comfortable about one’s kink is strengthened through the common understanding and support with others. The scene’s more underground status is now more socially available, it is an expanding and friendly environment no matter what your sexual orientation or background. Its inclusive nature

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